The word ‘heartbreak’ is a very popular word today, but once in a while, one might start to ponder, what does it really mean?
From Oxford, we are told that it is “a strong feeling of sadness”, obviously this is a general context that has grown minor today. To many people it would mean being heavily disappointed with their lover or ‘crush’.
But why is it called heartbreak?
Well, when we fall in love, our mindsets change. For guys, the strongest passions they have is usually related to their material ambitions and their new found love, while for girls it may be worse because it’s usually just their new found love. When you realize that all or almost all that you live for is gone, you’ll feel dead, the bond of love is actually what is broken and its searches to fill the bond if futile.
You may have heard that prevention is better than cure, truly I cannot agree more to this. I have come up with a simple analogy to help you live a beautiful life of love.
Imagine your heart was a glass/diamond house, whose color depends on your openness and the key tucked safely in your trust. People will come around the doors and windows, admiring/adoring the inner view. You on the other hand, may decide to befriend one of them in which the friendship may grow into a relationship. At this stage, you have given the person the permission to enter and explore your charming house.
So you get the gist, hence, here are some quick guides to take care of your heart:
1. Don’t be to possessive: When your lock up someone inside a furnished beautiful glass house, he/she might become bored at a certain point and may want a breath of fresh air, this might be interpreted as an attempt to abandon the house and if the person involved resists by refusing to open the doors, the other person might break your doors and leave in frustration.
What to do?: When someone wants to leave it’s usually an opportunity to spice up the fun. This is a time to test how good you are for each other. If you are perfect for him/her there is no need to worry because he/she will recognize how much you mean to his/her life. If you are not, maybe you will recognize the person’s importance in your life and change for the better.
In addition, some may avoid introducing their partner to his/her best friends. But in fact, if you have nice good friends, introducing your partner to them actually strengthens your relationship with him/her if you are really close to them. It strengthens your partner’s trust in your personality and also gives your partner an avenue to ask questions to your best friend and understand you a lot more.
2. Watch the signs: Some times when we are in love, we tend to neglect signs from our mates after a while. When you are in a blissful relationship, note the communication level and check for drastic drops. When this happens, something is usually amiss and if you don’t act fast, it might result in a quit.
What to do?: When the communication level drops, it’s your job to find out what’s amiss. Unless it has been going on for a long time, you can easily find out because you still have the key to your mate’s heart, even if it something directly against you as in most cases.
3. Keep/Sustain your charm: Humans have a tendency of not acknowledging what they have until they lose it. Variety is the spice of life. Keep your ‘house’ as attractive as charming as it was when the ‘visitor’ first looked upon it. In other words, always provide your mate with the best you can. If your reactions is: “But I can’t do that, I spend so much…” then you are in a one-sided relationship, which is quite dangerous if left unchecked. Be natural at relationships. When you are with the right person, it’s effortless to please or charm him/her, the passion doesn’t just live in you, it is part of you.
4. How to quit healthily: Yes, if you notice your lover isn’t the right person for you, though he/she may be madly in love with you and doesn't care whether you return the love. You will have to solve the issue. Most of the time, you are the cause as you didn't really reject the approaches at first, or after you recognized you can’t stay together. My suggestion is that you find someone who truly loves the person and may not have been making approaches because of you (in most cases there usually are, you just have to use your senses). 'Set them up'*, it is likely that he/she will open up to the person with nearly the same level of trust. When you three all start getting on together as friends, you can make him/her understand the situation and you’d see the result. We all like being loved back whether we believe it or not. However if you choose to remain single, never used the word break up when anyone asks you. Just say ‘we did what was right’ or ‘we did what we had to do.’ That way, you won’t feel the guilt of ‘failed relationship’.
*Note: You shouldn't just set up someone with anyone. Only promote rapport between people if you know that the person has been crushing genuinely on him/her, or you somehow know and believe they match each other.
Secondly you shouldn't make it seem as if you’re trying to transfer or make a new friend for him/her. You three should all relate together as friends and if you notice he/she’s happy when your new friend is around, then all is well.
The point is, it's important to heal that broken bond of love, attach something else to it. If you have dreams and ambitions, turn to them. Also, If you have a trustworthy friend who will take care of you get closer to the person. This is also a wonderful time to get closer with your family.
If you follow this guide then you can be assured you are with the right person, and when the right time comes, you cansincerely repeat “…In sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, till death do us part.”
- Written By Opata Chibueze