Ending of the first phase

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Alone he stood in the middle of the field staring at the moon. It was unusually bright today and it seemed today was special somehow. He knew something was going to change. He had undergone trials and this was the first stage. He had learnt the theory and it was time to move on to the next learning phase. He knew from his nature, it would require a lot of adjustment, so he took the time, slicing and analyzing through his plans and goals. It was a time to live a 96% life. Three activities for the mind and an anti-clog. Charming and charming, reading and reading, assimilating and assimilating, understanding and understanding, associating and associating, doing and doing. In the end, the three goals will be achieved. And all will be well. Whether it started well or not, it must end well. And 'all is well that ends well'!

It was time..

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Curse and Cause

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It was past midnight and he was still awake. He decided to go outside and receive some fresh air. Things were likely to be much better out there.

He was surprised to see a long black thin snake of about 1cm width slithering slowly across the stairs. He panicked but held himself back from shouting. What he needed now was to kill the snake. He looked for something strong enough, but there was none around. The snake was still visible and slowly crawling towards an opening in the wall. Suddenly his eyes hit the image of a huge stick at a distance. Involuntarily he headed for the stick and was back in a moment. Instantly he hit the snake on the head before it could reach the safety of the bush. He hit it again and again until there was no sign of movement from it anymore. The head was much bruised now and it was probably dead. He winced as he adored the body with scorn and disgust. What on earth was it looking for on his stairs? He wondered. He sat down on a bench thoughtfully.

Suddenly, he felt sorry for the snake. They were once said to be the wisest of all animals, and now suddenly they had turned to objects of contempt, crawling on their bellies as if in a burial procession, biting every aggressor on the heel. They were still cunning enough though. Somehow, he knew the snake was not dead yet, but for the past five minutes it pretended to be dead. Just as he was still thinking, the tail of the snake moved, half of its body moved in a coiling manner as if it was doing something. The poor animal could definitely heal itself.

There was a legend that if you left a snake without cutting its head and tail, it will resurrect even after its death. And even now he was looking at the disgustful coiling body, he believed it totally. These animals could heal and even resurrect themselves. Part of him felt sorry for having killed it, but there was an urge in him that could not be stopped. He picked up the stick and used it on the head body and tail of the snake for several seconds until he was sure it was dead or worse than dead.

He knew it was the curse on them that caused them to be looked upon with so much repugnance. And how many of this curses that have been integrated into nature has man tried to ignore? It was all hopeless. All that was meant to be will pass. How it passes is what you determine. People in the core of the thread of history can change the events of history but not its ends. All probabilities is as a result of freewill and that, we are meant to use well and wisely...

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Self Esteem

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"A poll was taken among some high school students, asking them what they most deserverd. By overwhelming majority, the students answered that they wanted to become popular. Older people have the same urge. Indeed, it is doubtful if anyone ever outlives the desire to be highly regarded or to have the affection of friends and associates.

The feeling of not being wanted or needed, is one of the most devastating of all human emotions. Being needed by others is absolutely necessary for emotional stability and happiness. Yet it is sad to realize how many people suffer from a sense of isolation.

I was at a launch and once a young doctor rushed in to take his place at a table. He looked frazzled as he sat down with a worried sigh. If only the telephone would stop ringing he complained, I can't get anywhere because people call me all the time. I wish I could put a silencer on that phone.

An elderly doctor at the table spoke up. I know how you feel. I used to feel that way myself, but you should be thankful your phone does ring. Be glad people want and need you. Then he added pathetically. Nobody ever calls me anymore.

I would like to hear the telephone ring again. Nobody wants me, and nobody needs me. I am a housebin.

The feeling of not being wanted or needed can produce frustration, illness, and even aging. It is not only a sad way to live, but it is damaging to the human psyche.

If you are feeling useless, for your own sake, do something about it. Try getting out of yourself for a while. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and find a way instead to provide a service for someone else. Think about people who are less fortunate than you who need help. Volunteer for a worthwile cause, not only where you will find the esteem we all need, but others will greatly benefit by what you give."

Excepts from 'The Power of Positive Thinking'

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Still on a darker side

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Disclaimer: Content is not guaranteed to be true. Commenting is not allowed

Now this is for me only and if you are reading it, it's your choice.

Sometimes, I want to say things like: Lord, how am I going to survive? or even Fuck the world! fuck everything! but the brain is always restricted from interpreting it because my heart is not fully tainted yet.

Sometimes I wish to just leave my home, forget everyone I know, everyone seriously. and just go, go, continue going to somewhere i will find myself only and just sit down and get bored. stay there, nothing in mind

Other times, I just wish to leave this place and settle down with my lover in a beautiful dazzling desolate place where we can comfortably set up a home, and have a wonderful family safe from the infectious mental and physical diseases of this age, live life like it's meant to be lived.

Sometimes, I just wish everything should just stop, for me or for everyone, I don't care.. 

When I'm Busy..

I work in an altered state, the world is repressed. I become obsessed with my desire. but then when there are too many desires all at once, a multiple obsession comes with daggers, piercing every bit of my mind, creating atomic disorders that lead to emotional expression barging out subconsciously in a premature manner like it is right now,

Sometimes, when I think about what needs to be done or what I need to do, I get scared or irritated, I wish to mess the time up like I want, control things! but then you hold on to that delight of knowing, and u toy with the knot of the puzzle until you exhaust ur delight. Now I notice that I am talking to myself. isn't that supposed to be dangerous or have i naturally formed a habit of writing in the third person?

Imagine when you say things and discard them so it doesn't affect others, nothing that leaves need to be withdrawn because it needed to leave, but was it kept on the right place? if not maybe it should be removed.. does it matter anyway? My new keyword is Light (or Lord), give me strength

what da heck what am i doing?

Well, I still stand by myself, what is is.

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Born to Love

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Sometimes, I reflect back into my early days. When I was young. Tiny bits of memory strung from personal and told to create a living memory. It feels great to be loved by all, it feels great that at the time we are introduced to the world, some of us are lucky enough to experience heaven on earth as a kid. But then as we grow up, reality turns into dream. We start to learn that deception is the way of the world. But then at a certain point, after we have grown, there's a new point where we can get all young again, and experience a new heaven. A point in life that creates the most difficult situations, the highest emotions, the most complex questions and a peak of almost everything.

At times I ask myself.. what's the point in making the world better? or even attempting to? What do we call success? Is it happiness? satisfaction? or both? What good can be done to a world awaiting destruction? The only immortal and most precious things on earth are humans? But these precious beings die everyday. We struggle each day to make our lives better? But can we discover a cure to immortality in our aging skin? To live a life in which you know must end soon, to make achievements in a world that must end, they all seem strange, foreign, insane. But the only thing that makes us to do it is Love, and some say that Love is God; this I have come to believe.

Love is the most precious gift of man, and the most valuable thing on earth. It is not of this world but we are capable of it. A proof of our ethereal background. In incomplete love, everything seems abnormal, but when it is powered by two lives. It is completely surreal.

In this 'decaying world', I might not be able to get what I desire most, but I will give it to the fullest. To love is a privilege, but production of life is more than just a privilege. It's a power, to create a new temple for the Lord. To have a new immortal soul on earth and have it in our care. .to guide to destiny's crib or fate's lair.

But I will not give up. Both our past and future are all memories; passive and active. To see into the past demands ability to use our physical eye, and the future our inner eye. But the only thing that exists is Now. I shall therefore make best use of every now I spend throughout my lifetime, and for this I need grace. More than ever before!

Guide me Lord, on destiny's path!

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A confession

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I have always been afraid of the question "Do I deserve heaven?". The answer is unclear because I am emotionally biased on the issue. Why would one merit heaven if he is no better than the devil? Do you truthfully think you are better than the devil? Are you not proud, arrogant and unrepentant like him? As for me, I know I cannot answer these questions without feeling guilt.

Imagine if your father is a King and you are the second most powerful next to him. What's the probability that it will not cross your mind to stop bowing down to him and singing praises to him like any other person else? When you are almost as equally powerful and know that you can command your own army?

If you want to look at this matter closely? Almost all of us do not want to be under any authority. When we think we are equal to someone else we would rather leave and form our own group. For instance when a man graduates, he usually goes to work for a company, soon as he gets enough money, even if he's paid well, 60 percent of the time, he will leave the company and start his own. And even if the other company is against that he wouldn't leave his company and back; apparently because of the glory he deserves from it.

I don't doubt that there are so many people that are as proud, arrogant and unrepentant as the devil today. I now wonder whether we are the children of the devil or children of God? Are children of God the type of people who demonstrate the kind of behaviour and desire like the children of this generation? I really don't think so! And I'm totally ashamed and annoyed.

Pray to God that your pride may not lead you to sin. Pray to God that you might demonstrate a heart of service like Jesus who washed the feet of his disciples. That you can devote yourself and all you are to Him. As for me I can't help myself. If you really care maybe you should try praying for my heart to change. That's the only way I can change and be able to help myself.

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